I don't think very many of you understand how deeply some of us are hurting today. This is not a normal election, it's not that we're sad our candidate lost or we're unsure of the politics of our new president. This is unlike any other election we've ever had.
We're worried for our gay friends, our black friends, our Muslim friends. We're worried that our government is going to encourage hatred or at the very least turn a blind eye to it. We're worried that sexual assault victims will continue to be shamed because now there's a presidential precedent for it. We're afraid that if we gain weight it's now ok to publicly mock us on Twitter for being fat.
But most of all, for me at least, today marks one of the most disappointing days of my life. Again, not because we don't like our president or because we disagree with him. But because we realized our entire nation isn't what we thought it was. I am totally and completely disillusioned with our country. And it's heartbreaking to me. I love America. I have always believe that it stood for truth, for good, for the love of others. And today I'm realizing that's simply not true. Fear and hatred won out. And it's hard. And it's sad.
I'm going to be honest, I'm also feeling disappointed by my Christian family, by the church as a whole. I want to be clear- I know many good Christian people that voted for Trump. It made me sad and I don't understand it, but I believe many of you who did, did so with the best of intentions. I don't question your faith or your careful thought. But it still hurts me. Because to me, I genuinely do not understand how you can side with someone who is so full of hate and lies and cruelty. He has admitted to and joked about sexually assaulting women. I am now supposed to think this man will keep me safe, my country safe, other women safe. That's hard for me to understand. Again, I don't question your Christianity, I don't question your love for the Lord or for others, but I genuinely don't understand how or why you made the choice you did. And it's hard. And it's sad.
So many people are saying to get over it, that it's over and done, that we need to support him now that he's elected. But I just don't agree. I cannot simply get over the fact that we've allowed this man to lead us.
One of the things I struggle with most is how I seem to be on the complete opposite side of so many
I feel like an outcast, a pariah among the church. That I am somehow lesser for my desire to stand up for what I believe, that I should keep quiet and join the crowd, that I'm being divisive and un-Christian by speaking up. And I feel very alone.
Am I? Am I wrong? Is Jesus not who I thought he was? Does he not stand for what I thought he did? Is it ok to put a cruel man in power because we agree with him on some issues? Should we put ourselves and our families' safety before the safety of immigrants and refugees? Do we not need to stand up for the voiceless because we don't agree with their lifestyle? Can we really ignore such terrifying character flaws? I'm not being sarcastic, I'm not being sardonic. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad or guilty for their choice. I am just genuinely struggling through this, through what I thought I knew to be true. And I don't understand.
Honestly, today has been one of the biggest faith struggles I've ever had. People are saying God has answered their prayers with Trump, that God made his choice. That's not untrue. But what about my prayers? What about the prayers of the people that are afraid they're getting deported as soon as he's instated? What about the prayers of the sexual assault victims who were terrified of being reminded of their assault day after day by a President who has made light of it? Were we on the wrong side of this? Is this really what God wants? How could I have been so wrong?
I genuinely don't understand. I'm not really angry, maybe a little bitter, but for the most part, I am genuinely confused. And sad. Because I don't get it. I don't get how people can be ok with this. I'm not trying to be dramatic or inflammatory, I just honestly don't get it.
I want to reiterate that none of this is meant to be a judgment of anyone who has or will now support Trump. I know you probably did not do so easily and I don't question your faith or your love for minorities or the outcasts. I really don't.
But I am wholeheartedly struggling through this, struggling to understand what happened and why. And where I fit in. Because right now I have no idea.
So please, for the sake of those of us who are hurting deeply, down to our very core, don't tell us to get over it, don't say we're being dramatic or sore losers. It's so much more than that. Give us grace and give us time and space to figure out what's next for us, how we move on, how we rejoin families and churches who we feel have let us down, and how we continue to protect and stand up for those who can't themselves. Because it's going to be a long, hard road. And it won't be easy.
Hi Kelsey. I've long wondered how to interpret Romans 13:1, "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." No idea how it can be true, when certain leaders in some countries commit horrible atrocities. How do we reconcile this? My only conclusion is -- somehow, in God's sovereignty, God's all right with Trump being president. If He WEREN'T all right with it, God wouldn't have allowed it to happen. Right?
ReplyDeleteI think he is ok with it, but it doesn't mean he likes it. I mean, he let Hitler be in power, too. I think he lets us have what we ask for. 1 Samuel 8:18 "Then you will cry out in that day because of your king whom you have chosen for yourselves, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”
DeleteWell said. You're not alone. - A fellow Jesus follower.
ReplyDeleteKelsey I feel every word you wrote. How did I get here? I don't belong in my church anymore as they so overwhelmingly supported a candidate so repugnant that I can't bring myself to use his name. Am I wrong? Am I just in the wrong place? How did fighting for social justice become anti Christian? I'm lost and alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm didn't mean to publish as Unknown... It's Bobbi
DeleteI have been struggling with that SO much too!! I am trying really hard to understand. I've been talking with some people that are good, Christian, non-racist Trump supporters. The only thing I can think is that we have very different priorities. I'm not sure if one of us is right or if they're just different, it's something I'm still trying to figure out. I also think a lot of people have so much fear. They're afraid of their freedoms being taken away, of being oppressed, but I don't think they understand that by securing their own freedoms they're putting the freedom of others at risk.
DeleteI think you misunderstand much of what motivated Trump supporters, and that this is shown in your statement that fear and hatred won.
ReplyDeleteWhile it is true that there was fear involved, not all fear is illegitimate. The main opponent of Trump was one of the most corrupt candidates we've seen, a person who put national security at risk, and whose agenda seems to disregard religious liberty. To fear a national trajectory which, in the view of many, is immoral, unsafe, and economically unsound under a corrupt politician isn't irrational. Did fear win, maybe. The other side to that coin is that Trump supporters hope that he will not only halt that trajectory, but reverse it. It wasn’t just fear, but to the Trump supporters at least, a justifiable fear or concern was involved.
Did hatred win? While many see, Trump’s victory this way, I would again question this understanding. Trump is an egocentric narcissist, with some vile and vulgar attitudes, speech, and behavior. Many people who support none of these things voted for Trump, not in support of these, but despite them. You may not think that should be, but that doesn’t change the motivations of actual people on the other side. Why would someone against these attitudes and actions vote for the candidate that seems proud of them?
1) They saw little choice. The only other viable candidate has policies detrimental to the economy, international affairs, and society. A third party / independent candidate vote is largely seen as a wasted vote. If you see the election as a binary choice and hold that society should protect the unborn, respect traditional marriage, and generally allow religious and economic liberty, the choice is apparent. In addition, they see Clinton’s stances on many issues cynically: that she’ll say and do anything to be elected and that her behavior toward the women that accused her husband highlights this hypocrisy.
2) They saw the SCOTUS nominations as supremely (sorry, couldn’t help it) important. Liberal justices who are willing to legislate from the bench or undermine the intent of the constitution have influence far beyond the term of the President. Clinton would have guaranteed leftist appointments. Trump at least said he would appoint justices who would uphold the constitution (which is their job).
3) At least in some cases, they didn’t believe he would really do what he said. Many thought he was stating extreme positions as a negotiation tactic for later and/or for media attention and air time.
4) Many just wanted a Washington outsider, rather than an establishment politician. Trump seemed to be that candidate.
Now, I personally did not vote for Trump. I understand, however, those that did. I think that the statement that “fear and hatred won…” misrepresents what motivated Trump a great many Trump supporters. Thinking that Trump supporters “let us down” is a result of the misunderstanding already mentioned. They didn't let us down. They did what they could to protect us from four to eight years of corruption and liberal policies. It is natural for them to rejoice if the person they see as better wins. I don’t know how a Trump presidency will turn out, but we’ve survived plenty of egotistic, immoral, and authoritarian presidents before. Sometimes they even do good things. None of that can excuse his behavior or speech. I think we should be sad that we came down to those two choices. We need to do a lot of soul-searching as a nation. I know you tried to express this in a non-judgmental way. Still, I think we need to be able to put aside our biases if we want to evaluate why others do what they do. Some of your statements indicate to me that you haven't been able to truly look at these results from the other side's perspective. It might take a while, as you noted, because of how much it hurt you. I hope this post helps in your process.
I think you misunderstood my statement. I'm not saying fear and hate won because the people that voted for Trump are full of fear and hate. I believe fear and hate won because now thousands upon thousands of people who are very racist now feel empowered and affirmed in their racism. Read my latest post and I think you'll understand more.
ReplyDelete