Debbie Downer :)

Ok so I debated about whether or not I should write this one. I decided yes. So I hope it wasn't a bad idea haha I know you all care a lot about me and what I'm doing, which is why I decided to share some of my struggles along with the amazing parts of my experience in Africa. I couldn't decide if I should or not because I don't want to be a Debbie Downer and I don't want you all to think I'm not having an amazing time, because I most definitely am. But to be honest, not every day is a good day and I definitely have had some hard times since I've been here. And I wanted to tell you about them too, because I know that you all care about what I'm going through whether it's happy or not! So this is going to be pretty honest and I hope no one takes this the wrong way or thinks that I’m not learning a ton or having an amazing time, because I really really am! I still love it, even on my bad days. So just bear with me through this…


So this past week has been a little rougher for me. I hurt my ankle last Friday, which meant I couldn't really go out and do much in the slums at all. So I spent a week in the office, alone a lot of the time, just typing up profiles and entering data into the computer. I was getting really discouraged to be honest because I kept thinking, there's no reason I'm here doing this. I could be doing this from my comfy couch in America. Why am I even here? It's something I definitely struggled with for a few days.

Another aspect of my work that is frustrating is that I don't get to have the awesome experiences and stories that a lot of the other interns have. Most everyone else works with the Social Work department or CHE (Community Health Evangelism), doing lots of home visits and HIV/AIDS support groups and disabled children's ministries. They come back in the evenings with incredible stories of people they've met that are missing limbs but still own a business or 22 year old single moms with 9 year old kids or prostitutes who are trying to change their lives. They get to meet in these people's homes and talk with them and pray with them and see the hope they have for their lives. I just started to get really discouraged this week because a lot of my time during the work day is spent either in the office typing up profiles or sitting through group meetings that are in Swahili. When I do get to talk to people in the groups I'm helping them fill out our forms, which gets really frustrating because of the language barrier. I know the people I talk to have amazing stories but it's so difficult to find out what they are because I don't have a translator with me like the other groups usually do.

So basically I was just getting really frustrated with my work last week. I really wanted to do something more and feel like I was making a difference. Then yesterday my entire perspective changed. We were at a church in Jaska, a boarding school for middle school kids, and our host missionaries Keith and Kathy Ham were there. I talked to Kathy for just a few minutes before lunch, but what she said really changed my attitude. She asked me what department I was working in and I told her I was in BDS doing profiles for the website and she just said “Wow, do you understand how big this is?” I didn’t necessarily know what she was talking about, but she went on to tell me how huge this project was and that it really was a big deal. This website is something they’ve been needing to get up for awhile, she explained, but they haven’t had the people or opportunity to do it. She told me these profiles on the website were going to change peoples’ lives by getting them loans that MOHI couldn’t necessarily afford.

I realized, in that moment, how selfish I had been in my attitude about work. I wanted to experience cool things and hear crazy stories to tell people back home. I wanted the emotional experience of meeting a woman who’s my age but had 3 kids and prostitutes herself to pay for their school. I didn’t necessarily want to help them or encourage them, I mean I do want to do that if I get the chance, but that was not my main motive. My motives were purely selfish. I wanted to meet those people and do those things for my own benefit, so I could be reminded of how lucky I am to live in America and to have the life I have. I wanted to have amazing stories for my friends and family so they would think I did something worthwhile. I dreaded going home and telling people I sat in an office half the time and typed up stories on a computer. But I realize how selfish that was of me. What I’m doing doesn’t necessarily do anything for ME, it doesn’t give ME a cool story or give ME an emotional or spiritual experience, but it helps OTHER PEOPLE! A concept I’ve always had a hard time with in the past. What I’m doing will directly affect hundreds of small business owners in Mathare Valley. It’s so cool to think that God is using me to help these people support their families. But it’s also very humbling. I’m not doing anything spectacular. I’m not necessarily getting a ton out of it, but God is doing amazing things for these people and He’s using me to do that. He could use anybody at all, it doesn’t take a lot to type of a 2 paragraph story, but He chose me. That’s a cool thought.

We all have a tendency to be self-centered, me more than most, I think. But God is really using this time to teach me that it’s not about me or my experiences or stories. I’m not here so I can tell people about what I did or how awesome my trip was, I’m here so I can help these people who don’t deserve to live like this.

Week 3

So I'm now in my third full week of my Kenya experience and it's still pretty exciting! Just to kind of keep you in the loop about what I'm doing....I'm working in the business development services (BDS) department and with their micro-enterprising program. Mostly what I'm doing this summer is talking to clients (people that have already received loans), taking down their information, and writing profiles about them and taking pictures of them and their businesses. Then these profiles are going to go up on the CMF website so people in the States can sponsor a person's business loan, kind of like you would sponsor a child. The website won't be up until the fall, but I'm really excited about working on something that I'll actually be able to see later! It's cool because a lot of the stuff we do here has very intangible results, so it's nice to work on something where you can see actual, physical progress. And don't worry, as soon as the website is up I'll post a link so you can all see what I did for 2 months!


It's been really amazing talking to these people, too. I have heard some really incredible stories, so far. A lot of the women I talk to are single mothers whose husbands died or left them and now they're caring for sometimes 5 or 6 or even 10 children, all alone, along with running their own businesses. I've also talked to a lot of people who overcame serious tribal violence around 2007 that happened after a disputed political election. Apparently, a guy from one tribe won the election, but the other guy was already in power (and was from a different tribe) and refused to concede the election, so there was massive violence between the tribes. Around 1,000 people died, but thousands more had their homes and businesses burnt down by rival tribes. A lot of the people who live in the slums now once lived on farms in the countryside but were chased out by rival tribes and forced to come into the city. I talked to one man whose mother is still in an IDP (internally displaced persons) Camp because of the tribal clashes.


One thing that has really affected me is the goals of the people I talk to. On the form I fill out with the clients there are questions about their goals in life and for their businesses and almost every single time their goals involve educating their children and moving out of the slums. That's all they want. They don't want the biggest house on the block or a new TV or a car or the most successful business in town, they just want their children to live better than they have. It definitely has made me rethink how I look at my own life and the things I get disappointed in and the things I focus on. If that is all it took to make people happy, shouldn't every American be competing for happiest person on earth? I mean, we have SO many opportunities in America to live successfully. Anyone can go to college, even if you're from a low income family. In fact, sometimes it's cheaper to go the poorer you are! You get more scholarships and loans and grants that way. It really is an amazing system. But here, going to college is a HUGE deal. Especially for people from the slums. Education is the most valuable thing these parents can give their children. It's just very powerful to see life from this point of view.


It's just amazing what these people have endured and how they're still so happy and joyful and so many of them love the Lord in a way that Americans could never even fathom. God is so much more apparent here, He's in everything they do. He's not an afterthought, like He so often is in America, He's their first and foremost thought, no matter where they are or what they're doing. I feel like so many Westerners are quick to blame God for bad things that happen in their lives, but these people, as far as I've seen, refuse to take on that mindset. They trust God to provide for them and they trust Him when they're jobless or when they find out they have HIV or when their homes get burnt down or when they can't afford to feed their children. It’s incredible and I wish everyone could just witness how godly these people are and how intentional they are about their faith!


Basically...I'm learning a ton. And God is teaching me so much just about life in general and what it means to be happy and have joy and trust in Him no matter what. It's been an incredible experience so far and I'm only a few weeks in! So thank you again for all of your thoughts and prayers and messages. They really are appreciated and so so helpful!

I just ask that you continue to pray for our safety and our ministry while we're here. Pray for health for everyone. And please pray for our attitudes! From what we've heard, things start getting rough culture-shock and homesickness-wise around the halfway point, which is where we almost are. So just pray that we can continue to focus on what we're here for and not get distracted by bad attitudes or homesickness.


Thanks so much! Love you all :)

Oh the joys of clean toilets...

Things I didn't realize I would miss about the US:


Internet

Electronics that work

Consistent electricity

Flushing toilets

Free toilets

Clean toilets

Toilet seats

Confidence that every bathroom will have toilet paper

Tacos

Doughnuts

Having an endless supply of clean water

Ice cubes

Cold drinks

The feeling of being clean. No matter how much I shower or wash my clothes, I always feel just a little bit gross still.

Personal space. Kenyans have no concept of personal space. I think at least 6 people run into me every time I walk through the city. And I mean directly run straight into me, and then just continue on as if nothing happened.

Understanding what everyone’s saying all the time. I am very lucky that a large number of Kenyans speak English…but a lot of them still speak in Swahili…a lot of the time

The smell of air (inhaling diesel exhaust fumes all day does not count as air)

Traffic. I know it sounds silly, but traffic in the United States is AMAZING! It’s so organized and there’s lights and stop signs and everyone knows where the lanes are. Here there are no lanes, people kind of go wherever they want…it’s insanely disorganized and slightly terrifying.

Blending in. I never realized how awesome the diversity of America is. Wherever I go in Nairobi people tend to look at me strangely because I’m white. In the slums the kids yell MZUNGU! (which means white person) whenever we go by. A lot of the Kenyans I’ve talked to make jokes about how people would probably yell “Black person!” at them if they went to the states but the awesome thing is that in America there are so many different kinds of people that it’s not a big deal when you see someone of a different race. And maybe that’s just my perspective because I’ve never been the minority before…but I am fairly certain that no one would yell “Black person!” if a Kenyan walked through the streets of Cincinnati…

The freedom of being able to go wherever I want, whenever I want. In Nairobi I can’t go anywhere without someone else, preferably two someone elses. And there are very specific parameters of where we should and should not be in the city.

The strong sense of security and justice. In the US I can be fairly certain that I won't be attacked or mugged or robbed but if I am, it's a huge deal, and the police will do something about it. Here...not so much.

The security of knowing most policemen are actually working for the good of society.

Knowing that as long as I don't break the law, there's very little chance I'll ever see the inside of a jail. While I'm not really worried about being falsely arrested (since I am an American and we're treated a bit differently here), there really is a good chance that if you live in a slum and are a person of little to no importance in the policemen's eyes you could be arrested for absolutely no reason and forced to pay a bribe to be let go. Even if you've done nothing wrong.

The cleanliness...not just the sanitary codes that surround every aspect of American life, which are great, but just the cleanliness of the cities and buildings. Everything in Nairobi is run down, even the "brand new" buildings. There's dirt everywhere. On everything. All the time. And trash. Mountains and mountains of trash.


Ok now don’t get me wrong here, I am having an AMAZING time in Kenya. It’s one of the best experiences of my life. I’ve had so much fun and I feel like I’ve learned so much already and it’s given me a really interesting new perspective on the world. This is not me going through the rejection station of culture shock :) These are just things I didn’t realize I would miss about America and things I’ve come to appreciate so much more after spending time in a less stable society. Although I did know I’d miss tacos…I mean that was just a given.

Week 1

So…it has been a VERY exciting and busy week! I feel like I’ve done so much and been gone so long, but it’s really only been 7 days, which is weird. I want to try to give you a quick rundown of what we did this week…I’ll try to remember everything and I'll try to keep it as short as possible!

They let us work in each different department at MOHI, so each day we worked with different people doing different things. It was nice to be able to see all that MOHI does…it really is amazing! They have so many different kinds of outreach to the community. On Monday I worked with BDS (Business Development Services), which is where I’ll be working for the rest of the summer. That department is the one that handles all of the microenterprising and everything. It was really cool because we got to go visit a few women in some different slums who want to become involved in MOHI’s microenterprising program. They had businesses but they needed help to expand them and make them more successful so we met with them in their homes and talked to them about what they do and what they’re looking to accomplish, so that was really interesting. Tuesday I worked with CHE (Community Health Evangelism) where we went through a slum and just met people and talked to them about Jesus, which in theory is very scary haha But it was actually a lot of fun! We met some really amazing people. Wednesday I did Social Work, we went to another slum and met with the parents of some of the kids that go to school at a MOHI center. Again, we met some really amazing people! They’re really all SO nice and welcoming, it’s really great to see. Thursday I worked with Christian Education and I got to spend the day in the school in a few different classrooms. That was SO much fun, just getting to see some of these kids and talking to them and hearing about their lives. We spent a few hours in the preschool which, needless to say, was absolutely adorable. Friday I worked in the Spiritual Development office. We got to do some home visits in the slums again, just meeting with people who have been coming to the church but haven’t accepted Christ yet. Again, it was really great! Haha

I’ve had a really amazing time this week getting to see how extensive MOHI is and all the different programs they have. They have programs for HIV/AIDS outreach, disabled children, they have a skills center where they teach women trades like cooking or sewing so they can support themselves and their families. It really is so amazing to see what God is doing here and how awesome and faithful these people are even in their physically horrific circumstances. I wish I could describe the slums to you but it really isn’t possible. It’s one of those things that you just have to experience, even pictures can’t do it justice. It’s just mile after mile of homes that can’t really even be classified as shacks. Most of them have dirt floors and are one room, just separated by sheets into sections. Most of their houses are as big as my bedroom at home. And they’re so dark inside. I went into one home that was literally pitch black, the woman had to hold my hand and guide me into a chair because I couldn’t see a thing.

The streets of the slums are full of sewage and garbage and animals. There’s goats and chickens running around everywhere. One thing I can’t even begin to describe is the smell. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced, and it’s only by the grace of God that I haven’t thrown up in some of these people’s homes yet! These truly are the worst conditions I could imagine a person living in. And the slums aren’t just in one area, they’re ALL around Nairobi. Millions of people live in them. What kills me the most is all the kids. There’s so many little kids running around that are sick and dirty and hungry. It’s hard to see and it’s really overwhelming, but it just makes me that much more excited to be working with MOHI and seeing what an amazing effect they have in these communities. It’s also really encouraging to see how joyful and faithful some of these people are despite their physical conditions. They live as terribly as anyone could, but they continue to have such an amazing faith in Christ and a joy that I can’t comprehend. It really is amazing to see. I think that’s the only word I can really use to describe it! It definitely gives me some serious perspective on my own life and on the things I let get me down or put me in a bad mood.

One word that kept coming to my mind during the last week is hope. That is what many of these people have and is what the rest of them need so badly. I keep coming back to the beginning of Romans 5…it says “And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” This has really helped me this week, especially when I get so overwhelmed by the poverty and desperation of these places and these people and I feel so helpless because I know I’m not going to be able to improve their lives physically. But then I remember that no matter what we’re suffering through, whether it’s physical or emotional, the ultimate gift you can give anyone is HOPE, not necessarily for a better life physically, but for a better life through Christ. And the Christians that I meet in the slums have definitely shown me that hope in Christ is all you need for a joyful, fulfilling life!!

So basically…I’m having an amazing time so far!! Thank you all so much for your love and your prayers! Please keep them coming, I’m definitely going to need them as I get deeper into this! Love you all!!

I'm here!

Quick update for everyone. I'm finally in Africa! It's been a crazy trip but it's totally been worth it so far. It has been a rough few days, we've all been so tired and we're trying to get on the right time schedule, it's very difficult! But we're working on it. Yesterday we got a tour of the Missions of Hope International (MOHI) Center where we'll be working and we got to walk around the slums a bit, which was unreal. It's so crazy to see people actually living in those conditions. I'll try to take some pictures and add them later. And I'll tell you more about it when I spend some more time there, but for now just know that it's crazy and unlike anything in the US.

Today some of the Kenyans who work at the MOHI Center showed us around Nairobi, which was amazing. It's a really cool city. And so far, the food is actually pretty good! So that was a nice surprise. The people we'll be working with are really amazing and a lot of fun, so I'm really excited about that too. Case in point, I'm having an amazing time so far! Thanks for all the prayers, I'll continue to need them as we start getting into our actual work in the slums. Love you all!

And the Adventures Begin...

Ok....so just a quick update! Our travel plans are NOT quite what we thought they were going to be :) Our flight from Indy to DC was delayed by 3 hours last night so we missed our connecting flight to London. However, after much finagling we were able to get hotel and food vouchers so we stayed in a really nice Hampton Inn. We got in about 3 am and we don't have to check out until 12:30, which is nice. Unfortunately, they did split up our group for flights today which was kind of inconvenient. One group leaves at 6pm tonight for London and the rest of us (including me) leave at 10pm. One girl had to go by herself at 9am but she was pretty ok with it. Also, thanks to the AMAZING Clare McGill for being willing to take care of her while she's in London without the rest of us for a night! You are fantastic Clare and I love you :)

We're still not entirely sure what's going on once we get to London. Our boarding passes don't have our information for our flight to Nairobi yet, so we'll just have to wait and see when we're flying out. It's getting pretty exciting already! haha I've actually been really impressed with our team so far. Everyone seems pretty laid back and flexible with all of these issues so that's been great. But if you guys wouldn't mind just continuing to pray for our team and that we can all make it there safely without too many more issues that would be fantastic. Thanks everyone! Love you all!

It's Finally Here!

So I'm definitely leaving for Africa today!!! How crazy is that? I'm so excited though. This week at training has been really amazing but I'm absolutely ready to get out to the field and actually experience what we've been talking about so much this week. I am SO READY to be in Nairobi finally!!

In case anyone was curious, our flight leaves from Indianapolis at 7 pm, we have a short layover in DC until about 9, then we leave for London. We should get to London around 10 am and we have a 10 hour layover there, then we leave for Nairobi at 8 pm on Wednesday night. We should arrive in Nairobi early on Thursday morning.

I know I've mentioned this before, but I'm not sure how great the internet service is in Kenya, so I'm not sure how often I'll be able to keep you all posted on what's going on, but I'll try to keep it updated as much as possible so you guys know what I'm up to! I really do appreciate all the love and the prayers, they will be much needed during the next 2 months!! I figured since you're already praying for me I might as well give you specific things to pray for as they come up :) so as of now I'd really appreciate it if you would pray for safe travels for my team and I and that everything would go smoothly and we'd get there without incident, that we would be able to deal with homesickness and culture shock, that we would stay focused on building relationships with the people we meet, and that we'd be able to make a difference in the life of at least one person.  Also if you guys wouldn't mind praying that we all get along and have an AMAZING time together that'd be great! Thank you so much for loving me and even wanting to know what I'm doing with my summer! You guys are all amazing and I love you all oh so much.