I was thinking about all the poverty in the slums of Nairobi. I mean it's intense. I was thinking about how physically their situations are rough, they live in tiny shacks the size of my bedroom made completely of tin and dirt. Their streets are filled with sewage. But then I was thinking, what's even worse to me is how emotionally broken their lives are as well. I could understand living in terrible situations but still having a semblance of a happy life because you have a stable family who loves you and good friends and community. But these people don't even always have that. So many of the people I've met, women especially, are single parents whose husbands left them after giving them HIV or were never even married to begin with. Many of their children's fathers left after they got pregnant. Many of them have multiple children with multiple fathers, all of whom left. So many of these peoples' families are completely broken. They can't afford school so their sons drop out and sniff glue on the streets of the slums to pass the time and forget about reality. Their daughters prostitute themselves to make money for the family or get pregnant as teenagers and are forced to keep the cycle of poverty alive. Some of these people have never experienced real love. Some of them wouldn't even know what it looked like.
As I was thinking about this I was overcome with thankfulness for the life I lead. I mean, I live in amazing conditions compared to these people. Even middle class people in Kenya don't live as well as lower class people in the States. I have a house, ok well I don't have a house but my parents graciously let me live in their house :) I have a car. I had my own apartment at one point. I have a whole kitchen, multiple bathrooms and bedrooms. I live an amazing physical life.
But then I started thinking, I live in amazing conditions emotionally, too. If that makes sense. I am convinced my family and friends are some of the most amazing people in the entire world. I had a bit of a rough weekend, just some stuff with people at home and whatnot, not important enough to discuss here haha But it was enough to upset me for awhile…but then I realized that no matter what I’m going through, I am still blessed beyond belief. I have parents who love me. Not all of the kids in the slums can say that. Shoot, not all of the kids in America can say that! They take care of me and support me and care about me and what I’m doing and how I am. They miss me when I’m gone. They hurt when I hurt. They’re thoughtful and considerate and caring. They would literally do anything they could for me. They would do anything to make me happy (not in a bad way, although my Dad always did have a hard time saying no to his daughters and one time let us eat 3 gingerbread houses in one night because my Mom was out of town). And they’re legitimately great, godly people. Anyone who knows them already knows that though :)
I also have 2 of the best sisters anyone could ask for. They’re seriously amazing. They’ve both offered to let me live with them when I get back from Kenya because they know I have no money and no plans for my life :) Just like my parents, they love me and care about me and would do anything they could to help me if and when I need it. They’re fun to hang out with and they actually like me, not just because they have to since we’re related and all, but they genuinely enjoy me (as far as I know…) and I enjoy them. Like my parents, they’re great people. And anyone who’s met them knows that!
Not only do I have an amazing family, but I have some of the best friends imaginable. I literally didn’t think it was possible to have friends like that. They care about me and how I am. They want to know about my life. They listen when I ramble for hours about whatever’s bothering me that week. They’re always there when I need them, even if I’m on another continent. And they’re always willing to have my back in any situation, even if I’m not in the right. Some of them have even offered to murder people for me before :) And they love me, even though they don’t have to, when I’m a jerk or when I’m in a bad mood or when I’m being selfish and unreasonable. They have truly shown me what it means to love someone like Jesus does, with no strings attached, just because you’re you.
I have so much. I am so blessed. And being here, seeing all the brokenness and poverty in the slums, has made me realize it so much more. I have an amazing life. I have a family and friends who love me no matter what, I have a God who loves me even though I suck at life most of the time and was even willing to become a person and die in a super awful way so that I could basically hang out with him forever. He doesn’t just love me because he has to, he likes me. He likes who I am even when I don’t. How fantastic is that?
Even when bad things happen, when I’m unhappy or hurt or sad or feel betrayed or rejected or unloved I just have to take a minute and see how amazing my life really is. I have more love in my life than I know what to do with. And it’s a great feeling.
Like I said, this was super cheesy. But I warned you all beforehand so it’s not my fault :)
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